I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
