I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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