Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize