are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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