Michael Bay diarrhea
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
