I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
