At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
