why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
