Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
