Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
