you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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