so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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