you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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