and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
