i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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