The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
