Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
