Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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