My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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