remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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