you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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