She is in my trunk
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
