jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
my liver is dry heaving
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
