Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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