so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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