I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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