Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
