If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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