Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
