I want to walk on stilts...naked
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My dick has a subreddit
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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