Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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