Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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