I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
