I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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