if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
