I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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