Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
