I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My feet surprised me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
