Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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