and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
