My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
