I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
