508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have demons in me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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