omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
