she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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