Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
