I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
