This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
