If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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