Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
