Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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