I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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