Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
