Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mom said you looked used
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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