Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
