So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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