I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
