I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
