He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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