No, you can still breathe under the balls.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
