What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
