I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
