This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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