I think I am morally bankrupt
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
