well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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