everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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