do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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