if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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